I’ve been doing a lot of things in the last six months that by previous standards, would have been considered unreasonable in my book.

I say no a lot. First I started by saying no to meetings, at least the kind that don’t have an agenda or some type of pre-written document to go with it. Then I started saying no to social engagements, projects, and the frequent, “Can I pick your brain over coffee?” meeting. More recently, I started saying no to alcohol, caffeine, grains, dairy, and soy.

I started putting myself first. I can’t remember the last time I pulled an all-nighter or worked through a weekend. I stopped telling myself that being “always on” was a good thing and started incorporating things like gym time in the middle of the work day.

I let vulnerability and spontaneity into my life in big ways. I stopped judging myself for the things I was or wasn’t doing. I stopped censoring my emotions. I learned to incorporate travel into my life in a way that fuels creativity and productivity. I spent 161 days away from New York this year and covered nearly 160K miles.

In short I learned that there’s a difference between selfishness and self-care. As I’ve become more unreasonable, I’ve found myself happier, healthier, and more fulfilled than I’ve ever been.


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